Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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