The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He did a backflip because drugs
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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