Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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