Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I believe in your delicious
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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