I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
