Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
