There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm like, not good at living.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
