She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
