you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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