dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
this is an emotional support booty call
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
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