I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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