Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
