Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
