It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
