the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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