She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
