I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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