is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
