My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
