He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Everclear isn't food dammit
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
