Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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