I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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