The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I
It's Friday. Sex?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.