I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze