jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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