would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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