You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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