She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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