with your own penis?
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
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I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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