sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
