you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
