fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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