4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
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Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
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my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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