one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
