just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
