I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
