i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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