do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
