Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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