Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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