i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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