Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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