Barsexuality is the new black.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
