Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
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