I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
