she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize