the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
