chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
