And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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