How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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