Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My bed smells like the plague
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
