did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
