when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
