My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
