Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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