I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
