Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
