i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
There are leaves in my underwear?
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