honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
