you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
