Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
