She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
