I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
