that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I have demons in me.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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