Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
